♡ she's still 23 inside her fantasy

Last week was my birthday! It saddens me that I can't say "I don't know about you but I'm feeling 22" anymore. 22 was a fun age. At least there's a lyric from the song Right Where You Left Me that mentions the number 23. 

I got the most fabulous red handbag for my birthday, gifted by my sister and mother. It's a stunning deep, cherry red that shines like beautiful rubies. I had to return it though because it had a dent in it and I didn't have time to snap any photos. When I get the new one, I cannot wait to wear it. I can already imagine myself in an all-black outfit with this red handbag hanging on my shoulder, red lipstick and cat-eye sunnies on. I'll have to wait until the weather gets better, it's much too cold now. 

Schoolwork has been a pain. It feels like everything is happening all at once. I've been wanting to read but it feels tiresome, what with work and everything else happening I get a sense that I can't read for fun anymore. 

I suppose you can call it a little birthday present to myself, but I got myself yet another book. I won't lie and tell you that I got the book purely for the cover photo. Yes, I'm interested in learning more about this particular author (you might have heard of him), but also handsome man smoking makes me go a little stupid (I don't like it when people smoke, but...)

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♡ letters & coffee

More books. What a shocker. By now you probably know that I'm very fascinated and interested in all things Beat™. I wanted to learn more about Jack Kerouac and found these two books. Door Wide Open: A Beat Love Affair in Letters by Joyce Johnson is on one hand a collection of letters she and Jack exchanged from 1957-1958, but at the same time it's also a memoir as the letters are paired with Joyce's own explanations. 

Selected Letters edited by Ann Charters is, just as the title suggests, a collection of letters by Jack Kerouac. Compared to Joyce's book, there are few passages that explain the letters. Instead, there are footnotes to explain what Jack is writing about. I'm not too sure how to categorize these books. Not quite biographies, but almost. Perhaps there's a word for this type of book. "Letter-o-graphies" perhaps?

On a different note, earlier today I also went out for some coffee with my sister after visiting the library. Lattes are lovely ♡

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♡ franco-thon + some movies i've recently watched

Does anyone else go through periods of watching movies with a specific person in them? I randomly decided to rewatch the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies which I loved growing up. They were a really fun time and had the most iconic moments (the third one is a comedic masterpiece and I stand by that). Then I realized "damn, Harry Osborne was real handsome in those movies" and that I probably had a little crush on him growing up (okay Tobey too, let's not lie to ourselves). That spiraled in me watching movies with James Franco (I have mixed feelings about that man, but I can't deny that he's a good actor)

James Dean (2001) | dir. Mark Rydell

There's something so timeless about James Franco's face, I can't describe it. I look at him and I envision a 1950s film star. Some people have that particular face, and you think that they're from a different time (Enver Gjokaj is another perfect example of a man out of time *wink-wink-didyougetit*). There's just something so... James Dean about him, I thought to myself. Imagine my surprise when I learned that he actually played James Dean in a 2001 TV biopic aptly titled James Dean. The movie chronicles James Dean's life, from childhood to the end of his life.

There were moments where I had to pause the movie and ask myself who I was seeing on my screen. Franco did an amazing job with his portrayal. 

Howl (2010) | dir. Rob Epstein & Jeffrey Friedman

I saw Howl (2010) where he played Allen Ginsberg. This was a really interesting film, it switches between Allen Ginsberg reading the poem for the first time, the obscenity trial that followed the publication of Howl, and an interview with an older Allen looking back at his youth. I like how they differentiate between the three events. For instance, the scenes where he’s reading the poem are shot in black and white, while the trial and interview are shot in colour. Interwoven through these core events are animations that serve as a stunning visual to the poem. 

I thought James Franco's reading of the poem was really good and captivating. I especially liked what they did with the second part of the poem, with the incredible animation that is so reflective of the dystopian hell that Ginsberg writes about. The third part of the poem was one of my favourite moments in the movie and James' performance was emotional (as in, it made me really emotional) and delivered beautifully. 

Though I cannot stand that godawful beard James wears as an Older Ginsberg, it looks straight from a cheap Halloween store. I think it would've been cool to have Brett Gelman (who plays Murray in Stranger Things) as Older Ginsberg, I think he really got the beard for it and he really does resemble the poet a bit! 

11.22.63 (2016) | dir. Bridget Carpenter

A show I ended up watching, or rather rewatching (in a sense), was 11.22.63. I had heard about it back in 2016 when it first aired and I remembered watching an episode or two when it came on TV (but always ended up missing it). I had no memory of it other than a handsome man in a 60s suit and hat. Wondering, "hey, I really liked this show, why didn't I ever finish it?", I finally decided to watch it in its entirety. 

And it was insanely good.

The story follows Jake, an English in Maine who discovers a portal in his dying friend's diner that takes him to the year 1960. After some back and forth, Jake goes through the portal and spends the next three years in the early 1960s in order to prevent the assassination of JFK. It's truly an interesting concept and explores the idea of important events in history and what the world would look like had they not happened. I'm so bad at describing things, but you're going to have to take my word and watch it yourself. Incredible acting, amazing costumes, beautiful story. I cried and I can't recommend it enough. Really looking forward to reading the book now.

We've now come to the end of my little Franco-thon. Here are some other things I've watched:

• Once Upon A Time (rewatching for the millionth time)
• The Shape Of Water (this movie makes me cry so hard)
• Werewolf By Night (really fascinating, heavily influenced by film noir which I loved. A unique Marvel project which I hope we'll see more of because I love Jack Russell with my whole heart)
• Sleepy Hollow (I remember seeing this back in the day and refusing to watch it because I thought it was lame and I was also obsessed with the Johnny Depp version at the time. Boy, have I been wrong all these years because it was really good. I'm on season 3 right now, but I'm taking a little break)

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING LATELY?

Also, how we feeling about this type of post layout? I think it looks really neat <3

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♡ book haul #1 | gothic beat

Yesterday I had a uni thing which I was really nervous about. We were in groups giving each other feedback on papers that we'd written, and I was so sure of it that I hadn't good done enough on my part. Having good and supportive friends truly makes a difference because my group ended up passing it which was amazing! To celebrate that I got through this day, I decided to go to this new bookstore on my way home from uni. It was very small and interesting. I ended up buying two new books because I couldn't resist!

The first one is Big Sur by Jack Kerouac, which was written in ten days in 1961 and then published the year after. I haven't read it yet so I'm looking forward to reading it. I found myself feeling so sad reading the blurb on the back and the first few lines of the book, I think it's gonna be a heavy read. 

This particular edition is the Penguin Modern Classics in a beautiful white and pastel blue design on the cover. I think these Penguin editions are too gorgeous, the aesthetic is so simple but so beautiful. 

I also found Howl, Kaddish and Other Poems by Allen Ginsberg, but I didn't like the cover of it that much. I'm waiting until I can get my hands on a City Lights Pocket Poets edition because I do prefer the original cover of it more. I know the original cover is rather standard and it's just "words on a plain background", perhaps even boring to some. But there's something so iconic about it. It's almost like the poem doesn't need any cover or artwork because the poem paints the art for you in your mind. But I digress!

Left: what I found in the bookshop. Right: the one I actually want
Which one do you prefer?

The next book I got is Tales of Mystery & Imagination by Edgar Allan Poe. When it comes to the goth king, I can't resist picking up the same old collection of stories if they are cased in a pretty cover. It's my first instinct whenever I go into a bookshop—scour the shelves for anything by Poe. This particular one was a) PURPLE and b) decorated with glittering gold design on the cover as well as c) having gorgeous, glittering, gilded edges. What more can you ask of a classic? 

Grrrr, I promise it's not this dark, it's a mix of blue and aubergine purple, it's just so hard to photograph.

Of course, I had to bookmark my favourite story, The Tell-Tale Heart.

I tried to take the best pictures I could, but I don't think they do the book justice. If you can find this edition, it's so much better in person. I think I have three books of Edgar Allan Poe's work all together now!

Anyways, hope you liked this post. Wishing you all a happy day!

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♡ fall 2022 reads (beatnik edition)

First post! Excited to start this blog, I've been wanting to try out writing more long-form posts. I thought I'd start with a post about what I've been reading since fall rolled around. I am terrible at remembering what I've read. I've tried to keep a reading journal, but I always forget that it exists. I'll try my best to remember what I have read in this post, which has been a lot of Beat-related literature actually :)

O N   T H E   R O A D

JACK KEROUAC (1957)

My Penguin edition of Jack Kerouac's On The Road, part of their Great Kerouac collection. 

Starting off with the most obvious title in the Beatnik Curricilum™; On The Road by Jack Kerouac. Jack is one of my favourite authors. His writing is very autobiographical, based on his road trips and experiences with friends. The writing is exciting and melodic—I'm so fascinated by just how musical Jack's writing is. There is a sense of rhythm in his style, sometimes consistent, other times irregular, like a swinging jazz tune. Recently I came across a 28-minute video on Youtube of Jack reading an excerpt from On The Road [x], and it's really unlike any audiobook. It's so much more personal, sometimes he's laughing or singing, which really drives home the energetic spirit of the book in my opinion. 

Favourite quote from this book ♡ (page 7)

M I N O R   C H A R A C T E R S

JOYCE JOHNSON  (198-)

This is a book I stumbled across when I was doing some reading about the beat generation (as I like to do from time to time). As a literary movement, the beats fascinate me, but what it's missing is the female perspective. Oftentimes when we think about The Beats™, Kerouac, Ginsberg, and Burroughs are almost always talked about. Yes, they are key figures and their work was revolutionary at the time, but I think it's also important to highlight the many women that were there. An article from The Guardian puts this perfectly: 

"I loved the beat generation and the men in it. I loved how they shared themselves with each other and their readers, generously. But I always had, and still have, the sneaking and sinking suspicion that there would have been no place for me in that world. [...] There were women, certainly, but they felt like cardboard cut-outs, something to move around, admire, shift gently out of the way when necessary." 

— Lynette Lounsbury, 2016

This is why I wanted to start reading more works by women who were there. I picked up Joyce Johnson's memoir Minor Characters and reading it was such an experience. It's a beautiful recounting of that generation, demystifying the literary larger-than-life figures and bringing to the forefront the voices of the minor characters of that time—the women.

W O M E N   O F   T H E   B E A T   G E N E R A T I O N

BRENDA KNIGHT (EDITOR)  (198-)

Still, in the same vein, I wanted to talk about the book Women of the Beat Generation, edited by Brenda Knight and with an incredible foreword by Ann Charters.  This is a beautiful book, I found it so inspiring to see what all these incredible, talented women created. The book goes into detail about each woman and showcases excerpts of their stories or poetry. As someone who loves creative writing, I became so inspired by these ladies to create my own stories and poems. If you're interested in learning more about the Beat Generation, I highly recommend you begin with this collection.

V I O L E T   B E N T   B A C K W A R D S   O V E R   T H E   G R A S S 

LANA DEL REY  (2020)

I got into Lana Del Rey's music in quarantine and when I heard that she was going to publish a poetry book I got extremely excited! Her poetry has received mixed reviews, some praise it while others express their dislike. I do think that some poems are weaker than others (like the haikus for example), but in general, I greatly enjoyed this little book. Compared to other modern poetry, I think Lana really knows and understands the medium, you can see her influences and traces of Plath and Whitman. She has a really great way with words and listening to the audiobook makes it such a gorgeous experience. 

My favourite poem from the book is L.A Who Am I To Love You. I love the way she's addressing Los Angeles like it's a person and speaking to it directly, comparing a lover to a city using gorgeous metaphors. It reminded me a lot of Allen Ginsberg's poem America upon first reading which I thought was neat :)

Sidenote, the book is really pretty. I love to just hold it, the paper feels really nice (haha)

That's it for now I think! If I go on any further I won't be able to stop. Hope you enjoyed this post, feel free to share what books you've read this fall. Wish you all the best!

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